Thursday, 5 December 2019

Blog takeover - Mortimer's tale

My parents* listen to the BBC Today programme on the radio. I don't know why as it makes dad shout but anyway each year between Christmas and New Year they have a guest editor so I thought why not a guest blogger? I'm sure readers must get fed up with mum wittering on about France and house renovations. She's actually very busy at the moment so I thought she might like a break.

I was a cute puppy!
When I adopted the parents nine years ago we lived in a place called Eastbourne which is by the sea. I loved the beach, which I went to everyday, you just never knew what would wash up. And the crabs! Gosh they were delicious, I know dad thought so too as he was always wrestling them from me. The first winter we were there it snowed, now snow I love, really refreshing to roll in.

My first snowfall

Never too old for snow!
We didn't live there that long as parents bought a 'project' in Norfolk. I wasn't sure exactly what this meant although it seemed to involve leaving a really nice house for one that was, well quite frankly shabby! But I did appreciate the garden and the walks. The project was surrounded by apple orchards and I developed quite a taste for Bramleys and Howgate Wonders. It was a very social place with a regular dog meet on a Sunday morning, I really enjoyed that.

Me and the gang
A couple of years ago I heard the word 'project' again. I couldn't believe it! They had just finished the house, made it lovely and comfortable and we were off again. I was not a happy dog. The next few weeks were very unsettling. We went to stay with my friend Dexter in London, that was fun as I do like London parks with all those dogs. We then went to the lettuce lady for a couple of nights, just as I was getting used to my new manor we were off again. I was in the car for hours, it was so boring. Mind you the stops were good, I didn't know where we were but the food was definitely an improvement. But to cut a long story short we eventually made it to the new project in a village called Corrèze.

Had to make sure Big Ted was packed

Waiting for the removal men
I wasn't sure at first, dad disappeared for a couple of weeks and mum was very busy, there were 100's of boxes to empty. To give her credit she took me everywhere with her. I particularly liked the nice lady in the mairie's office, she obviously appreciated my fine qualities.  I discovered mum was a pretty good hunter, that surprised me as she's not really built for speed. But every morning we go for a walk, stop in the same place and mum disappears. She's rarely gone for more than a minute and she reappears with a baguette. Very impressive.

Morning walk

They don't spray round here so the wildflowers are prolific

Table d'goats! (mum put that joke in)

The walks here are really good, once I got used to the hills. We don't have to get in the car at all to have a great 'promenade' in the country. In the morning I head up out of the village to Belle Vue, usually stopping to have a word with a couple of Limousin cows and the goats. In the evening we go though the old town (mum wrote quite a nice piece on it here). I particularly like it in the summer as there are special evening markets. There are lots of stalls selling meat, bread and wine, once you've purchased you take your piece of beef or whatever to the people who run the barbecue and they cook it for you. You can also buy fries as well. We then sit at long tables in the square and eat with our friends, I can be very persuasive and usually manage to get given a few tasty morsels. There are also some ordinary markets in Tulle and Egletons that I get taken to, now they are great! I'm always on my best behaviour and there's always interesting food for snaffling, you've no idea how much gets dropped.

My favourite stall

Patiently waiting

Friends at the night market
I've just read this back and have obviously picked up mum's habit of rambling so I'll stop now. Mum always puts in this bit about 'if you want to be my friend then click here'. That's quite sad really, she just needs to go up to people and give them a sniff, that's how I do it and it never fails. If you want to know more about my life here I'll see if I can stage another take over.

* parents. Yes that's what I call them and no I'm not anthropomorphising humans! Us dogs always call the male and female pack leaders parents, after all they are responsible for the well being of the pack. I don't think it's a problem that they're not canine as long as they're kind and respectful. It's humans that seem to struggle with difference in packs, does it really matter what colour, race or mix the family is made from? After all I'm a mix - half poodle and half labrador and get the best of both. I know a pack that has four adults, an Italian Spinone and a miniature dachshund and they all get on just fine, everyone looking out for everyone else.

2 comments:

  1. Well, hello Mortimer. You really write quite well - for a dog. You've reminded us of our walks together. The table d'goats was a favourite with us too. Keep up the good work. Getting those parents away from their project and out into the fresh air is a pretty important job - well done!

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  2. I think he probably does a better job than I do!

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